Midweek Sigh

Come on. Do it with me.

Breathe in. Hold it. Now -- breathe......out.......slowly.

Good. Didn't that feel good?

I enjoy a good sigh sometimes. It gets the oxygen into one's brain. It kind of slows you down and makes you think.

Things have seemed out of control lately at the Lilypad. Not like completely out of control, but you know. Mildly.

For one thing, there's that whole issue with the Rabbit not getting enough (or any) Willow Balls.

Is it or is it not the saddest

little face you've ever seen?

Seriously.

The other day I was at work, and I was telling a co-worker about my weekend. I told her that I couldn't really even recall what we did. That it just seemed like the weekend flowed by without us even realizing.

Do you know what she said to me? "Well, you do have a few things going on. Emotional things. It makes sense to me that you feel how you feel."

I thought... what? What is she talking about?

But then, I thought back.

For one thing, both the Blisschick and I are still majorly trying to come to terms with the deaths of our two beloved Kitties, Ernie and Jobie. Sure they are at Sparkle Pond in the their Sparkle Suits, but we still miss them like crazy.

Just months prior to Ernie's death, my Grandmother passed away under less than comfortable circumstances. My Grandmother was a Very Important Person to me. She was Important to the development of my Soul. Losing her was so hard, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I'm still pretty clueless.

I thought she would come to me in my dreams. And then she didn't. A couple of years passed. I finally had my first dream of her just a few weeks ago, and that dream dredged up some old feelings I realized I hadn't gotten around to yet.

Stupid feelings!! :)

And then, this summer started off with the deaths of two friends. First Susan; then, Ken.

Now, as I write this, my Grandfather is getting very close to his Sparkle Suit. At age 93, he is tired and finding it difficult to recover from a recent broken hip and resulting hip surgery.

Of course, we also have our share of family drama, home drama, and friend drama to add to this. One thing that I've been dealing with in particular (or trying to) is an issue I didn't even really know I had until recently:

I am EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED! WHAT? Who knew. (Well, the Blisschick knew apparently.)

But, it's totally true.

The point of all of this is to say that I think I feel a little lost right now. A little taxed. A little tired. Like I need a vacation, but not the kind where you leave the house and have to go away from your Mammals.

I guess what I need from you is suggestions. What do you do when you feel this way?

Miss Zoe, of course, knows exactly what to do. But she's not talkin'.

See what I mean?

It's up to You to help me.

Zoe Has Her Say & Why is Blisschick So Whiney!?

Okay. Rabbit in charge.

My Primary Human has been gone for a couple of days and left it to me to post for Wednesday. As if I don't already Do Enough Around Here just by being cute and exuding so much Wisdomosity.

God!

Where would my Primary Human go, you ask?

Good question. I mean, who would leave this?


Or this!?


Furthermore, my Secondary Human, whom you know as Blisschick, is so, like, ANNOYING when my Primary Human is out of the house.

I mean, she barely sleeps so that makes her Cranky.

And she just does not Worship Me enough, as far as I'm concerned.

You see, Secondary Human -- I love her -- but she didn't expect me to Be Like I Am. She just thought I was going to be Some Wild Animal Who Lived In Her House!

What?!

So, to get Secondary Human out of my Hare (sorry for that pun) for just a Wee Bit, I sent her to the Beach. I made her take pictures so I would know she didn't just go to some Coffee Shop and get lost in the Internets somewhere, like she usually does.

You have to think of everything when you are The Rabbit.

So here is her evidence -- and it's date stamped so I know it's not a fraud.


Now, by the time you read this, my Primary Human will have been back for some hours.

And all I have to say is this:

Let the attempts at Making Up For Being Gone begin!

Simple Gifts

This blog is supposed to be about Art and Mammals.

And, usually, I leave the Deep Thoughts to the Blisschick.

But lately, as anyone who reads either this blog or Blisschick's already knows, we have had some Major Things going on that have made my Art, at least, come to a temporary halt. Instead of writing or even painting, I have had to do some... Thinking.

Sigh. I'm not that good at Thinking.

As for the Mammals, well, they are usually in a state of halting. They call it "conserving energy." Otherwise known as laying around, resting, or lounging.

Please observe Exhibit A:


And for further evidence, Exhibit B:

Over the past week, Death has Kindly stopped, as Emily Dickinson would say, for two of our friends. They were in pain and exhausted by their diseases, and so Death was truly Kind in Stopping.

But, it leaves the rest of us here with some emptiness. We are left with trying to Understand the Big Picture of it all.

Earlier in the week, I was at work and I emailed the Blisschick to say this:

I was given the opportunity to spend an evening with Ken (along with the Blisschick, our friend, Miss Kitty, and Ken's wife, Debbie) that was perhaps his last good meal. His last good day where he felt like socializing. Where he felt like Himself.

In addition to that, I was given an opportunity to spend an hour with Susan while she was in the hospital. It, too, was perhaps her last time of feeling good. A time when she asked about others and we laughed and talked as if everything were Normal even though her liver had turned into an alien tumor.

And so I said to the Blisschick, "Why was I given these experiences? What is the Universe trying to teach me?"

She responded by saying the following: "Consider the possibility that the Universe is bestowing an Amazing Gift upon you. Perhaps you should stop thinking about it, and just accept that Gift."

Easier said than done.

But I'm trying.

Perhaps the Universe is trying to tell me to accept. Accept Everything as a Gift.

Life.

Death.

Time.

"And, of course," Miss Zoe piped in while I was Thinking, "Art and Mammals. We are Gifts." Then, she added, "Especially Rabbits. Really, Rabbits are the Best Gift."

What Simple Gifts are you Appreciating today? (And don't forget to put "rabbits" at the top of the list, or someone may.....well.... do something...)

One quarter, .25, or 25 Days

It was 25 Days ago that I began the Blisschick's 100 Day Challenge. My challenge was to Meditate for 100 days. Just sit quietly focused for 10 minutes every day.

At day 25, of course, I am one quarter of the way through.

And, you know, usually when I am counting down days, it's to a goal: like, 5 days til Christmas, or 2 weeks til my birthday, something along those lines. Usually, it's something I get to and don't plan to keep counting.

But with my 100 Day Challenge, it feels different.

Sure, I am happy that I've gotten this far. (Overall, I'm a pretty unfocused and forgetful animal. Just ask the Blisschick-- it can drive her absolutely nutters!) I'm proud of myself for making it this far and only forgetting, like, once.

But the other day at the end of Meditation, I sad to Miss Zoe, "When we get through the 100 Days, then what? Do you think that will be it?"

She stared at me with that Knowing Eye. Then she turned her head and stared at me with a second, Knowing Eye. Well, I know what that means.

Detail of The Knowing Eye.
You know as well as I do what that look means!

Yes, the Knowing Eye means business.

(Luckily, the Rabbit version of the Knowing Eye is something best seen from the side, so it's hard to get two Knowing Eyes at once. Otherwise it could be overwhelming. Of course, one can easily receive Two Knowing Eyes from a Cat without much trouble, but that is a whole different story...)

It means, "Of course you won't be done. The point of something like the 100 Day challenge is to, like, form new Habits. Duh."

She is such a Wise Bunny!

I hadn't really thought of it that way at the beginning. I had just always wanted to be a Meditator, and thought of this as an opportunity to try it out. I am easily lured into Blisschick's insidious schemes for me! She's been trying to get me to meditate for 10 years, easily.

About a week into the Challenge, I said to the Blisschick, "I feel a little lost. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to, you know-- DO while I'm meditating."

Her answer, as always, was to give me a book to read. She handed me a copy of Turning Your Mind Into An Ally by Sakyong Mipham. "Read This," she said. "You'll know what to do then."

And she was right. I am not even halfway through, though I've been reading it for a couple of weeks now. It's one of those books that you think about so much that you need to read it slowly. You know the kind. You just don't want to miss anything.

The main thing Sakyong Mipham's taught me so far is this: Thoughts are not real; they are only thoughts. We place so much emphasis on them, we follow them, we dream about them, get anxious over them, etc. But thoughts don't have any more power than the power we give them. Which is usually a lot.

I've found that knowing this makes it much easier to refocus my mind on my breath. Many thoughts float through, but they are only thoughts. By repeating that Truth to myself, I find it's easier to let them go and refocus.

I'm looking forward to the next 75 days and the days that follow. I love the time spent sitting quietly in Miss Zoe's room. We set our timer. About 5 minutes into my sitting, she hops over and lays her chin on my knee. I place my hand on her wee, fuzzy head, and we sit.

It is a thing of beauty. Why would I ever want that to stop now?

100 days will easily become 1000 and on and on and on.

Thanks, Blisschick!!!

Rainy Days, Modays, and 100 Days

It might be rainy and it might be Monday, but I'm not down.

How could I be with this little guy in the house?

1/2!!!

OK, I admit, I've been obsessed with getting this little sheep for awhile now.

I've had 75 for a couple of years, and 75 has been great.

But, though he's always smiling, he has always somehow seemed a little lonely.

Then I learned about his son, 1/2. When the Blisschick got braces, it just made me want 1/2 to come and live here all the more. The fact that 1/2 also had braces, I reasoned, would give the Blisschick someone to commiserate with over not being able to eat Tootsie Rolls.

75 and 1/2 enjoying Tootsie Roll-less times outside in the sunshine on Saturday.

Though I wanted 1/2 and was a tiny bit obsessed with him, the whole thing just never went any further than that.

Miss Zoe welcoming 1/2 with a half bath/ half once over.

Then Health Coach stopped by this weekend to check on my progress and hang out a bit. He'd been telling me for a couple of days that he had a gift for me: he had found me 1/2!!

I have to say, I have not been very good about my Health Coach plans. I have a hard time sometimes making new routines. I'll get there, I know, but I have to make more of a commitment.

I have the same excuses as everyone else: I'm busy. I'd rather be doing a lot of other things. I've been at work all day, and when I come home, all I want to do, frankly, is slip into something more comfortable, get some kisses and snuggles from a Certain Rabbit I've been missing all day, and spend the evening with Blisschick and the Mammals in the Lilypad.

And, that's wonderful. But... it still doesn't mean that I don't have to be healthier. Or, that I don't have to try harder to be more disciplined, to follow through on my commitments.

OHHHHH!!!! But it's HARD!!! (Lots of whining)

Which leads me to the Blisschick, and the 100 days part of my title.

1/2 whispering tell of sweet Tootsie Rolls
and popcorn to the Blisschick!

The Blisschick's enCouraging Bliss post last week was about making a commitment to a 100 day challenge. I've been considering this and have been trying to decide how I wanted to participate.

A commitment to exercise is way up there as something I need to work on right now. But according to the Blisschick, there is something I need even more. Something I've needed for a long time.

A commitment to a Spiritual Practice. To Meditation. To Sitting Quietly. To doing Something to renew my Mind and Spirit.

It's something I envy in the Blisschick. She has such a dedication to Spiritual Matters. I love that about her. It's something I want for myself in a bigger and deeper way.

My 100 Day Challenge, then?

10 minutes of Quiet Sitting.

Every Day.

And, Miss Zoe is in charge of the timer, so there's no getting out of this one. Unless I can get 1/2 to distract her...

Big Rabbit is Watching...

When I was younger, I always used to participate in sports. Basketball, softball, soccer, track. Which sport I was playing at any given time was how I kept track of the wheel of the year.

(Don't worry-- I was also a complete and total band geek and a choir geek, as well as many other types of geek, known and unknown.)

Let me say that the point of sports for me was not so much the sport itself-- I am not competitive in the least, and I could care less about winning in most circumstances. (The notable exception, of course, being that I like to win stare down competitions with Miss Emmie the Cat. I usually don't win, but when I do, I don't let her forget it easily.)

Yeah, you try to win a stare down with this cat. Bring it!

Sports, for me, were about the fitness aspect. They made me move my butt, whether I wanted to or not. I've always known that was important for me. Outer accountability.

I have come round to the fact that I am essentially lazy. And, I'm OK with that.

But, I also like food. Very much.

In some way, then, I have to counteract the eating with some exercise. It not only helps me stay in shape, it helps me feel better-- more alert, more awake, just better.

It's part of the reason why Blisschick and I have been car free for almost eight years. Besides all the great things about being more aware of your surroundings, contributing a bit less to pollution, and living a bit of a slower existence without a car, being car free means you have to get places some other way -- besides driving.

Most days, for me, that means riding my bike, Captain (now Admiral, thank you very much) Janeway, to and fro work.

In this way, exercise for me becomes a lifestyle, not a choice. (If it were a choice, I would be in serious trouble!!)

Well, so I thought things were going pretty well with this whole bike riding and occasional walking thing.

But then, a couple of weeks ago, Miss Zoe spoke up:

"Sorry-- the bike riding isn't cutting it.
You need to be healthier!"

Apparently, Big Rabbit was Watching.

She knows what I'm up to. Or, more accurately, what I'm not up to.

Now, I know that I am pretty healthy. Cardiovascularly speaking, I feel like I am pretty darn good. But I know that less "moosh" as we call it at our house, would be way healthier for my heart.

"Less moosh. Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout."

Miss Zoe placed a call to a friend who is transitioning into a new career as a Health Coach. She offered me up to him as a guinea pig. Miss Zoe and Health Coach conspired to order me a heart monitor.

For the time being, Health Coach has given me two main directives:

1. Eat what I normally eat, but write everything down so I am aware of what goes in every day.

2. Make a commitment to exercising for 30-45 minutes, five days a week in my target heart rate zone.

I can do that, right?

Well, I'm certainly going to try.

Health Coach is my new substitute for sports. He is my outer accountability meter. It might just be the motivational ticket I need to become a healthier me.

I'm certainly not being motivated by these lazy animals!

I'll keep you posted on how it's going.

If Miss Zoe is the task master I know her to be, however, I don't think I'll be allowed to fail, do you?