From The What World of What???

1971 was a wonderful year, wasn't it?

Walt Disney World opened.

Cigarette ads were banned on radio and television.

I was born. (OK, and if that's not exciting enough for you, so was Snoop Dogg.)

And in the world of publishing, this happened:

That's right!! It's Doll Repair: From the Gay World of Dolls

Seriously?

So, there I was at work a couple of weeks ago. I had wandered down to the mail room to check my little mailbox. I didn't have anything, so in my usual habit, I stayed a bit to visit with the woman whose job it is to pack up the Inter-library Loans to send out with the UPS man.

In the middle of a conversation about (what else?) our cats, the above pale pink cover caught my eye.

Then the title and picture caught my eye.

Well, who could resist? A book from the Gay World of Dolls? Certainly not I.

I picked up that book. I flipped through its mysterious and macabre pages. And, I don't think I'll ever be the same again.

Before and after. I love before and after, don't you?

I mean, just look at these pictures. They could inspire nightmares. The table-full of "parts." the bashed in head. Was this the work of a serial killer?


As you flip through the book, it only gets better. Amongst patterns for little doll shoes and tools to fix the dolls that look like medieval torture devices made from rusty hangers, there are pictures, like the one above, of "lustrous nylon hair" hanging on what? Is that a tiny little clothesline for hair?

Parts hanging. Parts lying around.
Parts.
Creepy.

OK, so maybe Blisschick and I watch a little too much Dexter. Or perhaps it's the Midsomer Murders. Whatever the case, I feel like a psychologist should be brought in.

I feel like I need a consultation.

Like, now.

And, for the poor little dolly who's had her head bashed in, or perhaps been stabbed or had her eyes ripped out? Not to worry!! There's...

GAYGOOP!!

There's even a recipe. They caution you that it can take some time to get the color and consistency right (wouldn't you expect there to be an art to something like that?), but they go on to say that Gaygoop is actually "real easy to make."

But make sure you follow the recipe. Use the best powdered wood available.

(Is powdered wood really available? Who makes it? Termites? Beavers?)

I'm so sure! Doll bondo. Slap those pieces back together. Lay on the Gaygoop. Smooth it over. A little carefully placed paint and a buff job, and dolly will pass inspection for one more year, guaranteed.

And so we end with this picture. Zoe and I think it speaks for itself. We're not sure what it says, but....

I hope I'm never dark and scared more as a piece of wood.

I'll just try hard to get the Gaygoop right, and hopefully it won't come to that.